why he read his boy like that
LMFAOOOOO! I’m dying.
I haven’t posted anything personal of mine in an extremely, ridiculously long time. Which makes sense cause I haven’t written really anything in a while and it kinda bothers me. When I was a child all I ever wanted to be was a writer. And then I got older and my dreams became more “practical” and writing sort of faded away. I don’t really have a reason why. Just excuses. And those are tools. But I guess it’s never too late to start.
So, I’m going to be 21 in three weeks. I like birthdays because they feel like personal new years and I like reading my horoscope (basic hobbies I know). Still haven’t figured my life out which is irritating cause I like having a plan or some sense of direction. But yeah anyways, I’m going to make some things I wanna accomplish before March 31, 2015.
1. Travel (Studying in Italy would be life giving)
2. Write a novel
3. Fall in love
4. Buy a pair of red bottoms for graduation
5. Make a short film
1. Get a new tattoo
2. See Phantom of the Opera off broadway
3. Attend strip club
4. Have dinner at Warm Daddy’s in Philly
If I can get these four things then I think my birthday will be a success. Don’t really need a party. I don’t need a bunch of people around me just because all in my face and me feeling obligated to socialize and mingle and yada yada. But yup. 21 should be wavy.
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring."
i’m trying desperately to get into this sad, quirky but still incredibly conventionally beautiful light skin girl pain sullen looks and touching the throat softly whimpering about lost love and being broken emotional high yellow jhene aiko music but i. just. can’t.